I did it and I’m talking about it. That’s the easy part. If I think of this goal as research maybe that will help me stay the course over the next 30 days. Full disclosure, that thought made me laugh. To keep it positive and motivating, I’m choosing to call this a meditation goal and not a challenge. I’ve never completed those for more than a couple of days. Being a fan of semantics, the words I choose matter. I’m determined to figure out what it will take to keep me going. Correction. I understand it’s really about self-love. Day 1 is off to a great start.
“Wake up.”
That’s how the guided meditation, Start Your Day Right by Michael J. Emery began. His voice and tonality caught my attention. That’s the way it is with meditation. The sounds have to be comfortable to receive. Thankfully, there are a plethora of choices available making it simple to find ones that resonate. His words reached me and I found myself effortlessly swaying with the rhythm of the music. As it went on I grew excited thinking about hearing this recording again tomorrow. Day 2 of set goals isn’t always easy for me. I choose to believe him when he says today is a brand new start.
I’ve been meditating for a few months now with no regularity. When I do it, I feel better. Like a lot of people I find it all too easy to push that self-care routine aside in order to get started on the important stuff of the day. <cue the record scratch> Um, excuse me. Hold on for a moment.
I am the most important equation of my day.
So I did it. I made the decision to stay off social media this morning and instead chose to browse my Amazon music app for inspiration. My loved ones were off and going on their day and my few precious hours of alone time were quickly passing by the minute. This is typically when I start barreling through the gazillion things I’ve put on my to-do list (more on that later). But not today. Not in this moment.
I poured a cup of coffee, grabbed a towel, and went outside. Most of the time I meditate in my home because I’m a recluse due to social anxiety caused by low self-esteem. Ah, to be able to recognize can be a blessing and a curse. Today I respected the pull inside my soul to be out in the sunshine among the breeze and the animals, the water and the mountain. The weather here is gorgeous. I will never be able to say it enough. I love living in Marin County. It’s awesome to be so close to San Francisco, like literally 15 minutes from the Golden Gate Bridge. Coupled with the unbelievable amount of preserved natural land space in the Marin Headlands and throughout the North Bay, it’s the most incredible place I’ve ever been.
I walked to the grassy, shaded area just outside our home, but the landscapers were busily trimming trees and pruning everything. I needed a different atmosphere. Down the street a bit, I went to another grassy spot between the buildings but the air smelled of cleaning products. For a moment I felt a twinge of guilt that I wasn’t cleaning my home because it desperately needs it. I let that go quickly and made a mental image of a clean home. I’ll get there, or closer to there. There were more important things on my agenda and I was proud of myself for getting back on track.
Within a short walk are steps that wind through the houses down to the neighborhood below. I took the first flight down and found a spot in the sun to put my towel. After taking a couple of deep breaths, I put in my ear buds, took off my shoes, and began the meditation. Over the next 20 minutes I felt a shift inside. A release of tension. An acceptance of possibilities and a fiery desire to want it all for myself. Smiles. Tears. Long breaths. I found myself sitting up taller. Halfway through, a man on his morning walk passed by going down the steps then back up. Rather than turning away from him, we exchanged pleasantries and gratitude for the beautiful day. That energy felt really good.
The great thing about meditating is that it can be done anywhere. In fact, I’m a believer that it should be done everywhere. Obviously not in every moment. Zoning out when responsibilities present is avoidance, a nasty enemy of self-care. The ability to be mindful of our breath, the sounds around us, our body, and connecting with our space on Earth doesn’t require a 20-minute break in a dimly lit room with ocean wave sounds. Taking the time, be it 3 minutes or 30, helps as a daily practice so the other moments are just that, moments where the breath happens.
Getting back to my to-do list. When I made today’s right before writing this blog, I kept it to 5 things. Rather than putting unrealistic pressure on myself by naming ALL the things I just have to do right now or the world will end, I made another choice. Self-compassion. I want to feel good about what I accomplish today. Setting ourselves up for success doesn’t mean taking the easy way. It means understanding our limitations and working in ways that build from that. I have a much better voice coming through my mind right now than the harsh one I’ve been feeding for so long. I’m glad I meditated today. I know it’s helping me to follow Michael’s prompt. Be Amazing.
May love light our way.
Find the Start Your Day Right meditation and many others by Michael J. Emery on his website.